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The most important thing I would learn in school was that almost everything I would learn in school would be utterly useless. When I was fifteen I knew the principal industries of the ruhr valley, the underlying causes of world war one and what peig sayers had for her dinner every day…What I wanted to know when I was fifteen was the best way to chat up girls. Graduate school brown university that is what I still want to know.

It has been said of sir boyle roche, MP (1743-1807) for tralee, co. Kerry), that he only opened his mouth to change his feet. On one occasion he told his audience that "the cup of ireland’s misery has been overflowing for centuries and is not yet half full." joining that remarkable cup is this spectacularly mixed metaphor, also by roche: "all along the untrodden paths of the future, I can see the footprints of an unseen hand."

Curran said to father O’leary, the wittiest priest of his day, "I wish you were st. Brown university color peter." "why?" asked O’leary. "Because," said curran, "you would have the keys of heaven, and could let me in." "it would be better for you," said O’leary, "that I had the keys of the other place, for then I could let you out."

Sir boyle roche MP was the member for tralee, county kerry, in the irish house of commons in the latter part of the 18th century. His response to another member’s appeal for some measure because it would benefit posterity? "Why, mr. Speaker," sir boyle asked, "should we do anything for posterity? What has posterity done for us?"

ED NOTE: mr richard bentley visited our site and noticed that we have incorrectly attributed the entire quote above to oscar. The second line should actually be attributed to samuel johnson who either said it or wrote it 100 years earlier! This brings to mind an anecdote by james whistler. Brown university visit he was with oscar when the latter praised a clever turn of phrase by saying "I wish I had said that." mr whistler responded, "you will, oscar, you will."

God then made man. The italians for their beauty. The french for their cuisine. The welsh for their voices. The germans for their cars. Colleges near brown university and on and on until he looked at what he had created and said, "this is all very well, but no-one is having fun. I’ll have to make an irishman."

Mr patrick kavanagh was recently reported as having declared that “there is no such thing as gaelic literature”. This is hard luck on the institute of advanced studies, who are supposed to be looking into the thing. I attended the book fair in the mansion house the other evening in the hope of overhearing other similar pronouncements from the writing persons who infest such a place. I heard plenty, and have recorded it in my note-books under “stuff to be used if certain people put their heads out”.

George bernard shaw once received an invitation from a celebrity hound: lady tillingham-swarthmore will be at home thursday between four and six. GBS returned the card. Underneath her message, he had scrawled: mr. Brown university commencement george bernard shaw likewise.

When any one of our relations was found to be a person of a very bad character, a troublesome guest, or one we desired to get rid of, upon his leaving my house I ever took care to lend him a riding-coat, or a pair of boots, or sometimes a horse of small value, and I always had the satisfaction of finding he never came back to return them.