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• …the (brain) “ventricle” is said to be a “reservoir” and I guess that that’s what had leaked, connected then to the major “thoroughfare” called the corpus callosum. The oily-fluid insulating the nerve-paths maybe had leaked out through the big “hole” from the outside of the brain by freeze-burns to infants’ heads during accidents the first premature trek across beringia. .. It seems that the ventricle must have been infected by somebody’s attempt to staunch the leaking or bleeding with a specimen from their own body’s warmth, of excrement, I’m nearly sure of that from these 6 decades and this “armageddon” exhibition the system has got me in, that black hair and eyes came from an infection, are a sign and symptom of that from the way way back because the autists just won’t let anything heal and fade off, they re-compound the darknesses by the disembodied-ovaries “method” of self-reproduction of offspring in place of letting nature heal the infection, it’s continuously being re-evolved developmentally in newborns.

This is alot of words because the hypersensitivity to criticism that brings out the temper tantrums that brings out the violence doesn’t want to hear about that anything is wrong with themselves, is what the autism is like also. The ventricle-system must have gotten infected.

I’m going to try to work up a section on this “the dark fields/limitless” novel. Here’s an attempt to pdf the example of the original bookcover but I only got a bit of it accidentally when I’d gone to get a scan of the back of the book, which did come out: 201809261319 (“the dark fields’” original cover/s to what became the “limitless” novel now.) — 10/4/18, I found this so far, on the search-engine from the publisher’s site and I’ll be trying to get that I’m trying to use the book cleared through them as soon as I can but so far I’m still always with immediate dire difficulties, without consistent opportunity to sit and work on this yet, hoping things would be different here (in houston now,) etc. — … permission department inquiries, email (address here,) or mail: attn: permissions and copyright manager, farrar, straus and giroux, 18 west 18th street, new york, NY 10010

10/2/18, I’m trying to figure if possibly the novel is allegorical, and then I read a little about the 2015-16 season television program and that does sound similar to this situation around me with its characters perhaps, “naz” for instance, and maybe I’d been hit with that car in november 2015 because the system was pulling off its armageddon so well, and then something I haven’t been able to get a chance to explain had probably occurred while I was in the hospital.

I’ll delete this big copy soon. Washington university psychiatry don’t twist or take out of context any of my words to system-code but I’d “cracked up” when I read this in my 2nd reading of the book now and couldn’t go back to reading until I shared it with someone and I’m (otherwise) in a surrounded-isolation so I shared it with here as I only generally can, etc. It says that he thought up that he could study neurology. I couldn’t take that swear-word out of there, block it out with something before sending this again maybe if I get a chance, etc. American university reviews then the next paragraph goes, “what would there be to stop me from making my own MDT? There had been plenty of underground chemists in the old LSD days, people who had sidestepped the need to cultivate supply sources in the medical or pharmaceutical communities by setting up their own labs in bathrooms and basements all around the country. — then it goes on about that a bit and he buys a bunch of books but then it’s the finale and he doesn’t get to read anything after all but when I’d read that paragraph I couldn’t quit laughing, which is dangerous because the invisible torture always does some sort of a retaliation if I ever laugh or momentarily feel positive or good about anything so I’d had to find a way to quit laughing and sent that here and then continued to the end of the novel. If you could make it at home we wouldn’t be in this system. In fact there used to be all kinds of “medical” drug-plants evolving but the autists scarf everything for themselves. If you try to find out how to make LSD all the books tell you is that almost anyone could make themselves a set up with a few things from a chemical supply store but when you keep reading there’s not any follow-up except all that “ergot” mold business and that’s a dead end, that the only way to “make” LSD is what the “fraud-parent” and the underworld have all been busy doing, slaughtering people in order to get our skulls and then, forgive this mishmash but I guess it’s like the “nutcracker suite” that they do at the holiday time, that that’s really about that you have to break people’s skulls open, bang, bang maxwell’s silver hammer, to get at the inside of the skull for the “LSD-25/MDT-48” and whatever all the other slangs for the brain-derived “drugs,” narcotics, all that industry where the “growers” look at us like we’re “doll” capsules carrying the drug in our heads, etc., are. I’ll move this to somewhere else but I thought that that was the best part of the book. Au university at some other point the gennady character asks about what the content of the pills is, where it comes from. I’m trying to figure if the “russian” stands for a kennedy or maybe neal cassady or what, because gennady is so un-russian sounding, but I’m always trying to stress that I think the system comes from under mongol-siberia, “-cyberia.”

I was taken to ireland the summers of 1968 and 1969 by the female fraud-parent’s male fraud-parent, my fraud-maternal fraud-grandfather, a widower, and there had been a lot of visiting back and forth going on, the forth being that one of the many fraud-relatives I’d met over there had somehow met a guy from NY and come over here at some point in all of that back and forth time period to see the guy and when I went to ireland I guess the 2nd summer she was married to some other guy, which had surprised me alot and I might, as I have been put through one set up after another I’m figuring, have inadvertantly “insulted” the new husband by asking my fraud-relative in front of him why she had married him, maybe I’d caused one or both of them to feel embarrassed, that some of all those “curses” I must have accrued during those 2 summers might have alot to do with that this “expose’ (expozay)” story had been parallel to this “armageddon show” all these years. The guy she’d come over to here to see had had the same name as the protagonist and therefore as the fraud-parent’s and that also is likely not really coincidental either. The libraries are closed here tomorrow but I’ll try to do a better write-up on this inter-connected “summer vacations” business.